Sunday, May 10, 2020

COVIDJOURNAL: I feel like since people are dying, why should I have to write ten essays; but at the same time, is this just an excuse I am making to not do homework?

(student submission Spring 2020) 

March 30, 2020
            I have just spent three days in the hospital after XXXXXXXXXXX on Saturday. To recap from the hospital, it was definitely different than any other time I had been. Nurses came in about every thirty minutes to sanitize the room and check my vitals for anything concerning Coronavirus. There were also some major changes that affected me, such as the hospital didn’t allow any visitors into the building. TMH was oddly empty; the halls I was led down were vacant. One of my nurses even told me that people were having their shifts cut. This is surprising to me, because I would have assumed the hospital would be more busy as more people were getting infected.

March 31, 2020
            I did not do much today. A few of my friends came to visit me at home, since I am on a week-long lockdown from being in the hospital; they brought air-dry clay and we all made suns. I have not kept up much with the news, but from what I have heard from my manager, the virus is getting bad enough to the extent that my job won't be open again for a good while.

April 1, 2020
            I have been spending a lot of time on my phone the past couple of weeks. It is making me feel significantly unproductive, but I have nothing better to do. I slept in until 1 oclock in the afternoon today, which I have a feeling will become an everyday occurance. I have no motivation to do schoolwork or anything for that matter. I can’t tell if I am being lazy or if school is just unimportant right now with everything going on in the world. I feel like since people are dying, why should I have to write ten essays; but at the same time, is this just an excuse I am making to not do homework?  I also had a Zoom appointment with my psychiatrist which was definitely different but also confusing because I have yet to figure out how to work Zoom.

April 2, 2020
            Today I finally came to the realization that I am living through a global pandemic. Coronavirus is something kids will be taught about in schools and written in textbooks. People are dying. I don’t think I understood the vastness of this situation until now. After coming to this realization I layed in bed for the rest of the day without moving.

April 3, 2020
            I spent most of today outside getting a sunburn. I ate mostly snacks today, which I have been doing for most of the quarantine. Since I haven't found the motivation to cook any real meals I have been relying on food such as Cheezits and cereal.

April 4, 2020
            I went to the park with my best friend today. It was odd seeing my childhood park blocked off with orange tarps. A woman yelled at us for evidently walking too close to her. I see where she was coming from in being upset, but I don’t think it was necessary to yell. Maybe the mass hysteria is driving people crazy?

April 5, 2020
            Today, the mania of quarantine hit me, and I dyed my hair green. I had told myself that I wouldn’t dye my hair at this time, but I made an impulsive decision and now my hair is fried. I also went to Starbucks, and on a whim I asked the barista, “Are you scared to still be working during this pandemic?” She replied by telling me that she was terrified but she needed the money for essentials. This scared me a lot and made me realize the severity of this situation for others.

April 6, 2020
Despite the fact that I don’t have a job at the moment, I have been continuously online shopping over the course of quarantine. I have nothing better to do with my time than shop for clothes that I don’t need and impulsively buying them.

April 7, 2020
            Today was a very difficult day for me. I have not been coping well with being stuck inside all day. With that, I am caught between two sides of a moral dilemma? What is more important, my mental health or the safety of others being threatened when I leave the house? I’m almost positive that I am not the only person with this issue, but it feels oddly personal. Wanting to leave the house makes me feel selfish, but I am being driven mad locked inside all day.

April 8, 2020
            Today began in a very solemn way; I woke up to the news that Senator Bernie Sanders had ended his presidential campaign. I spend most of the day reminiscing on the brokenness and corruption of American’s politicians. Unless a third party candidate gains enough popularity to win, people will be forced to choose between a Democratic rapist and a Republican rapist. This shouldn't be the group of people we are choosing our country's president from; we shouldn't have to be picking between the lesser of two evils. The only thing that I can do is continue to endorse Bernie Sanders and hope that his followers gain enough of a following to bring Bernie back as an independent candidate.

April 9, 2020
            I used today as self care today. I slept in fairly late, and when I woke up I made coffee and did yoga outside. After this I did a fask mask and took a warm epsom salt bath. I have not taken a whole day out to just care for myself, so it was a nice change. I also used my personal journal for the first time in a while, and I layed out my intentions for the rest of quarantine and the summer.

April 10, 2020
            I dedicated today to my pet ferret Stokely. After waking up at around noon, I took him for a walk around the neighborhood, and carried him when he got tired. This walk lasted around two hours. When we got home, I let him take a nap and rest. After I ate dinner, I bathed Stokely and let him dry himself by running all over the towels. Lastly, I gave hima special puree treat before he went back to sleep. (Fun Fact: Ferrets sleep for around 16-18 hours a day)

April 11, 2020
            Today I went to Tom Brown Park for the first time since elementary school. I have lived by this park my whole life, but I am too nervous to go by myself because there are usually a lot of people on the trails and many women are known to go missing on the trails.

April 12, 2020
            I spent most of my day at the park in my neighborhood. I walked around the park and curated playlists that would help me stay calm throughout the rest of quarantine. I found a peaceful spot by the lake, sat on the bench, and doodled drawing as the sun set. When I went home I made ramen, yet another effortless meal.

April 13, 2020
            I spent most of today putting together outfits and determining what clothes I will be selling when I move out in July. I came to the realization that I own way too many clothes, and I will be selling a great deal of them. When I move I want to try having a somewhat minimalist lifestyle, or at least a more sustainable lifestyle. In doing this I will distance myself from the fast fashion industry that is corrupting so many areas and greatly contributing to climate change. I have a goal to minimize my carbon footprint, which I have been working on during quarantine by skating places instead of driving, taking shorter shorts, etc.

April 14, 2020
            My friends and I reached an extreme level of boredom today, and we decided to start making a movie. It is a mish-mash documentary-style indie short film. It mostly consists of us skating around, talking about random issues, and having a good time. There is also a portion we recorded where we each have a one on one interview talking about current events, such as the Coronavirus, that we will be able to show our kids one day. Once again, I find it absolutely insane that one day, 20 or 30 years from now, I may be telling my children about how I survived Coronavirus as they are doing research for a history project on the topic.

April 15, 2020
            I spent most of today with my best friend Ashlynn. Since things are odd with my parents at the moment, I have been very reliant on the company of my friends. They constantly boost my mood and take my mind off of all the crazy stuff happening in the world. We took a mirror into the forest and took pictures, which is a trend we found on Tiktok. We also went to the tennis courts by my house, which were surprisingly not closed off, and worked on our skateboarding tricks. Along with skateboarding, painting is another hobby I have picked up over the break.

April 16, 2020
            Despite the positive energy around me for the past week, today was not very good. I woke up to my body broken out in hives due to one of my new medications. Throughout the whole day my body was itching and aching. My body also happened to be very sore from continuously helping my friend move into her new apartment.

April 17, 2020
            I came to the realization that I have eaten McDonald’s french fries everyday for the past week, and I don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, I have no motivation to cook food, but on the other hand I have no job and I don’t need to be spending money on fast food every day.

April 18, 2020
Ashlynn and I spent all day at Tom Brown Park. We got breakfast at McDonald’s then headed over to the park with gloves and trashbags. We noticed that there were less and less trash cans every time we visited the park, and the more often that we went, the more trash we noticed on the trails. Since we had nothing better to do, we decided to spend our Saturday cleaning up people’s trash. All in all, it wasn’t a bad time. There was a nice breeze from the rain the previous night, and we had music playing the whole time. After being at the park for multiple hours, we ordered takeout Chinese food and rewarded ourselves with a night of cartoons and art. We also had a serious talk about what the future will look like after quarantine. My friends and I have made so many plans to execute once places start opening back up. Being locked in the house for weeks has definitely given me a new perspective on life. I will leave this situation being much more appreciative of my loved ones and my close friends that I wasn’t able to see.

April 19, 2020
            I woke up at 3 o'clock today- the latest I have slept throughout all of quarantine. After taking a shower I went to my friend’s new apartment and helped her unpack. I spent most of the day there; then I came home to work on class assignments, which I haven’t done in a while. Half of my classes have decided to lighten the load for the rest of the semester while my other professors are continuing to drag us students through the mud. We have had our whole academic lives turned upside down, and many professors aren't making accommodations for students which is extremely frustrating.