Monday, August 21, 2017

How I like my late Lattes

(From 2013. I'm nicer now. Ish.)

They try to come into the lecture hall unnoticed, but that's out of the question.

I stop talking, acknowledge them, drawing the class's attention as well.

"You're late. Late! Never be late to my lectures again. Understand? Sit!" I point up an aisle, and off he scampered.

I get back to my lecture, then the door opens again. "Hello late person. You know you're late, right? Don't be late. Alright, don't just stand there, sit.... there!" I point at the front row, and she slips right in.

Not even a minute later, a guy stands frozen in the doorway. "You are late. Promise me and yourself this is the latest you'll ever be, understand? Now sit!" I point at the front row, and down he sits, plunk.

Then, just as lecture starts to roll again, another guy walks in and stands by the door. "You are LATE.... oh, but don't worry, you haven't missed anything. Class, please hold up the money I paid you come to class on time."

Sixty happy people wave $20 in the air.

The latest late sits, laughing without me even having to tell him to.

"Is this your worst first day of class nightmare?" I ask, and he shakes his head.

"Not even close," he replies.

"Never ever be late to my class again, I'm being clear, right?"

He laughs again, which is fine with me.

I return to covering the entire scope of the course in a twenty minute run-through of maps, images, and key quotes.

Then, just as I'm in the middle of the Industrial Revolution, something happens which strikes me speechless.

I don't know if the class noticed, but I did.

In she walked, late, tiptoing in sandals, quietly sneaking into my class, holding up a crisp new cup of coffee that looked so fresh I could practically see the dollop of foam on the top of her latte.

Coming late to my class?

With a nice hot fresh cup of coffee??

Never, never do that again.

Next time, $2o -- AND the late latte is mine.

Make it a latte with whole milk, and three splendas, hold the syrup and flavoring.

Got it?

Am I now clear?

Let the semester begin...