Sunday, September 6, 2015

This is College Football. Get Used to It.

(From September 2011... the last time I went to a football game)

Doak Campbell stadium was packed. 

The first quarter was slow and loud, and to be completely honest I spent most of it trying to figure out how to get bars on my iPhone and check into Doak Campbell on Facebook.

By the time I checked in, I had something to say. 

“Watching drunk girls fight at Doak.”

What I didn’t see until the next day was all the snide comments betting these were “sorority girls.”

Yes, yes it was.

They didn’t have Greek letters on their clothes but sorority was woven into their outfits – all wearing similar short dresses, long hair pulled back with matching bows and (sigh) cowgirl boots.

It went down like this.

Excited crowds often stand up at Doak Campbell; once one row stands, the people behind them stand, and a wave of standing behind them ensues. 

My row was 2 from the top – high enough to watch the Miami Game on the TVs in the SkyBoxes. There was no choice, this high, about whether to stand.

The problem was whether to stand on the seat part of the stadium or the floor part.

Apparently, a very petite bow-sporting student (I’m naming her Britney; that’s what I’d call her if she was in my class) – did what people for 20 rows ahead of her were doing; she stood on her seat, blocking the view of the woman behind her (who I’d call Delores).

Britney was in a row of people standing shoulder to shoulder, chanting loudly.

Delores could not see.
Delores’ husband could not see.
This was a big loud game and being there but not able to see must have been frustrating.

Delores could have stood on her seat so that she could see over the sea of sorority bows and camo hats and garnet-gold pompoms instead of having butts waving in her face.

But Delores made a different choice.

She tapped Britney and her to step down.

Britney looked around, surprised and annoyed.

I can imagine what she was thinking – why should I step down? Then I won’t see either?

She wasn’t wearing her peacemaker hat. She was, however, clutching an FSU license plate, which didn’t really go with her bow and dress.

Britney was a rowdy student at a BIG game and we were LOSING. She unleashed on Delores.


After that, a series of F-bombs ensued, but FSU got a third down so I didn’t watch too carefully.

Then I saw hands flashing in faces and finger pointing. Delores’ husband put his hand between them and then there was a first down and everyone turned. 

Britney’s friend-sister-bow-twin moved her three rows down. The solid line of sorority girls scattered and Delores could see the game.

An exceptionally happy girl from Britney’s matching bow  sisterhood moved to the spot in front of me  where I had been standing.

She introduced herself as E* and asked if I minded her being there.

When I said no, she hugged me (hard), giggled and proclaimed, “I like you!”

In a pause for a TV time out, the girl next to me (Jessica who goes by Brooke) and her friend (who never told me her name but she partied like a Lauren or an Alexis) ask what happened.

So I re-enact it, standing up to shout into the air, “This is COLLEGE FOOTBALL!! GET USED TO IT!!!”

Britney somehow sees with her magic behind the head sight because she turns towards me and gives me her best evil drunk girl look.  Her bow-twin sister friend turns her back around.

E* hugs me again, giggles and jumps and proclaims again, “I REALLY like you!”

After every FSU tackle we chant “This is COLLEGE FOOTBALL!! GET USED TO IT!!!” and Britney turns again and again to look at us until she disappeared into the crowd sometime in the 4th quarter.