Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Top Secret Recipe: Jambalaya for 50

Step 1:  Ask all your students to assign you books. If you don't have students, then wing it.  Read about 150ish of them.  Turn away from the world and fall into dystopias and wonderlands and freakanomics.  Don't cook. This is important. Do. Not. Cook. Instead, just sit quietly reading books. Do not do any community service. Remain at this step until you literally can't stand reading another book.
Step 2: Buy ingredients for jambalaya. Vegetables, rice, sausage, etc. If you don't know this part then just wing it. Onions are your friends. Long grain rice is too. At least they're my friends, and I'm pretty picky about who I hang with.
Step 3: Get out pots and pans and knives and bowls and chop and then cook. I don't want to be all bossy and controlling, so I'm letting you wing this part too. If you have a bunch of time to play, you might want to carmelize onions and whatever vegetables you think should go in jamabalaya. Season and roast pork/bacon/shrimp/chicken/etc. Take as long as you want. I've made this step last two days. Can that be our secret?
 Step 4: Make rice. Bonus points if you can do it the microwave. Double bonus if you own a "rice cooker." Triple bonus if you deploy a box or two of Zatarains jambalaya mix in your rice and keep it a secret.
Step 5: When you get the guts up, mix the rice and all the chopped up pieces of roasted meat and all the meat juices. Put in the the fridge. Or in the oven. This is a free country.
Step 6: Add cheese. Or not. Add more spices. Or not.  Taste it (definitely) and fix it up.
Step 7: Figure out how to deliver a boiling hot pan of jambalaya across town without spilling it. Decide to buy things that grown ups use to deliver food (??? must research) but for now, improvise by carrying it in an old box that looks friendly and helpful.
Step 8: Deliver. Serve to Veterans who might not otherwise have a homecooked meal  (this is CRUCIAL* do not skip*). 
Package up the leftovers and hand them out. 

Lather, rinse, repeat.