I'd say my kids have been relatively perfect today considering they were stuck chaperoning me at a three hour ordeal at an orthopedic clinic.
The hour and a half in the waiting room wasn't bad. We giggled and whispered and envied cute outfit.
A cute baby fell asleep gnawing on her mom's bracelet.
A straw haired lady wheeled across the room complimented someone's "handsome son" only to find out it was a daughter.
One lucky red-casted guy hobbled in on crutches and was called back for his appointment before his butt actually landed on the seat he'd chosen.
Once they called us back I sat on an exam table in the middle of 10 other tables like an old maternity ward where everybody could see and hear everything that was going on.
I asked the nurse if invisible curtains actually separated us and she said yes and closed the invisible curtains behind her. I pretended not to see someone across from me giggle.
When the doctor that I'd been referred to introduced himself and asked me how I hurt my ankle I told him "skydiving" and he believed me because I guess doctors get stories like that all the time.
Before he could write anything down I stopped him and said "no, I was walking the dog."
That's all I told him but I'll tell you more because "Walking the dog" sounds like such a euphemism for 100 things, most of which are things that warrant euphemisms.
A few days ago, after submitting semester grades I took the puppy for a celebratory late night walk under the stars and among fireflies and then whoosh slip twist crash I was sitting with one foot twisted under me.
In three seconds I knew it was broken and I limped home praying to forget every step.
I wrote a poem, took Tylenol pm and went to sleep. The rest is history.
Back to today.
Cast for 4 weeks, then back for X-rays and hopefully a walking cast after that.
Zack holds my hand as the cast guy slowly sets my ankle in position it really doesn't want to be in (and 8 hours later my ankle is still crying).
Soon enough we are home but without the cool knee-scooter crutch-substitute that I hoped I would get. Apparently they're quite scarce around these places.
Inspired by the doctors and cast techs rolling around on those little exam room stools, I turned the rolling computer desk chair into a faux-scooter (#whee).
After days if being stranded in a chair unable to even get myself water I was finally free (and omg excited) to clean the kitchen, take out the trash, put away laundry and sweep.
I made dinner (eggs, pancakes, bacon), cleaned again, then my foot was throbbing so painfully I decided to take a break watch a little Masterchef.
That's when one of my practically perfect and increasingly independent kids came to me and asked to get on the computer.
I said yes but the kid still stood there looking sad.
I need the chair or the computer won't work.
Too tired to even try to fight that crazy illusion I surrendered the chair of freedom and slid onto the sofa, curled up with my puppy and watched Gordon Ramsey fuss at people.