It isn't that I don't feel like writing, its that I'm writing a funny book about grief in which hundreds of people pass through but three leave empty chairs.
So I confess (publicly before Zoe can tell you) I've spent more time at Target and more time watching MTV than I've spent writing this week, and the new Jersey Shore hasn't even started yet.
I tell you this (finally? or did you already know?) so you can understand I give myself a few minutes to shift my attention and heart into a writing place because I'm writing about people who've jumped into the sky.
So I go through my usual sites - CNN.com, Perezhilton.com then email, then Postsecret, then Facebook.
On the Facebook home page every day it suggests new friends to connect with based on mutual friends, then also suggests it suggests a name of a friend who hasn't been too active on Facebook.
Today, it suggests I get in touch with Carol Strickland, "say hello, Write on her Wall."
Really, it was her, like she's still around on earth able to check Facebook on the iPhone that dangled from her belt every day while she sat in my classes translating lecture into sign language.
I miss her so much still, the grief is so raw, that just seeing her pop up so nonchalantly brings tears to my eyes.
I bet they do use Facebook in the sky, I think, logging off the internet and getting back to my Manuscript, warmed with gratitude and laughing.
Zack chatters multiple choice questions at me.
"If you had one wish would you wish for no burglars? Or for me? Or for
no burglars AND me?"
"All of the above," I answer, the most words I've gotten in with him
in over thirty minutes of nonstop interrogation.
Zack lifts himself up, raises his eyebrows and pats me on the head
like a proud uncle.
"Good answer. I would wish for Africa to have food and peace" he
proclaims, then leaves me alone to write while he fiddles
unsuccessfully with my Shake Weight.
That's right, boys-of-the-week panties.
"Pick seven guys' names. Chose an M name for Monday (Mike), a T name for Tuesday (Tom), etc. Write one name in silver fabric paint across the front center of each pair of panties. Let dry 2 hours."At that, I put the book away library books, and danced back into the living room, feeling like writing again.
Zoe woke up and was incredibly disappointed to find only $3.
And also she thinks you took the money from her July 4 tooth-loss and
gave it to her again.
Whatever you did just know that $3 " buys her nothing at Starbucks,"
and she's a bit grumpy. I told her I'd lend her $2.
You're welcome, again, but listen --(( I need to know you know I'm
serious) PLEASE stop hiding teeth in my bra. That is not a secure,
tooth fairy approved location, and it's awkward when they fall out.