Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Successfully Failing (by DG)

There are a few simple ways to do absolutely terrible in Dr. Soldani’s class. First, make sure that you never ever take any notes, they are a complete waste of time and they will not do you any good. So are the 1ID’s she gives you in the beginning of class. They are only a large part of all of the exams she gives, so if you don’t know them you will do bad.

When it comes time to take a test, you will not have any notes, no ID’s, and no knowledge of what went on in class the past two weeks or so. You will be sure to fail.

When Dr. Soldani is lecturing all that you need to do is sit back and at least pretend that you are listening, take a little nap, or even get up and down to go to the bathroom to call your friends.

Just as long as you are not in class taking notes, you’ll do great at failing.

Better yet, everyone should just take calls and send text messages from their friends while sitting in class. Why waste your energy getting up and down when you can just sit in class, ignore everything and have important, meaningful conversations with your friends about what you are planning to do Friday night.

Also, it is fun to have to pay Dr. Soldani twenty dollars every time she sees you with your phone. There is no need to keep your money, so, going in and out of class, being late, and getting caught with your phone is the best way to get rid of it.

The least amount of money you have to put on your tests, pay to get out of assignments, and put in the bank the better.

Also, never do any assignments early to get money, there is no need for it anyway, right? It will just be more work for you to try and get rid of it chatting with your friends during class and being late everyday on purpose.

Another great way to fail the class is to never come to class. Since all of the information given in each lecture links to the next lecture, missing class causes you to miss important lessons that are necessary to good, so missing will definitely cause one to fail, if they miss enough times. Missing class will lead you to knowing nothing on the test, even if you put money on the test none of it will go toward your final because it will all have to be used to lift your terrible grade.

Another thing you should be sure to do if you want to fail the class is never use the study guides Dr. Soldani gives out. The pictures are only the whole test, so if you never look at them to match them with the stories and ID’s, you will be sure to fail the tests. Sometimes Dr. Soldani even gives study guides grouping pictures into groups of three, which is how they appear on the real exam, if you are planning on failing definitely do not look at those, as they will prepare you too much for the test.

Basically, these are all of the ways to successfully fail Dr. Soldani’s class.

Make sure you pay attention to the different strategies you may use to fail successfully, as it is hard to do so.

You will have to try your hardest to do bad, so good luck!