Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How to Fail the Class -- (Reverse Psychology)

.Tips and Tricks

If you find yourself wondering how to take notes and prepare for exams in Dr. Soldani’s class, it’s a breeze! There are just a few simple tips and tricks that will help you fail.

Do not come to class and take proper notes, and don’t worry about studying those notes regularly.

Try your hardest not to turn in things early so you can get extra money- the money thing is a complete joke!

You should always come in late and keep your phone on the desk just in case you get a call during her lecture.

Never draw pictures during her lecture; it’s a complete waste of ink.

Avoid checking your blackboard account; she never posts anything on there anyways.

But most importantly, do not add her on Facebook considering she is a very private person.

The first and best way to fail Soldani’s AMH1020 class is to never come to class. Her lectures are somewhat boring and she presents them in a manner than just makes you want to fall asleep! She puts up pictures for every ID term and the test has nothing to do with pictures! It’s all multiple choice and straight out of the book. Taking lecture notes will not improve your test grades because you can simply not come to class and just read the book.

The book is much more interesting than her, by the way.

The money system is a complete joke in Soldani’s class. I felt like I was in high school the first day when she handed out all of the fake money. It did nothing for me all year long besides take up extra space in my wallet! She said that we could use it for every test, on homework and make-up assignments, and other miscellaneous things but she lied! She made us use it for coming in late and going to the bathroom which made me go completely broke the first couple of days.

If you do manage to make it to Soldani’s class, come late! She loves it when you come in late so she can catch up with you on all of the fun stuff you missed. She gives you some random IOU paper that will get you out of being late, but she doesn’t take it that serious so throw it away.

She will give you the IDs that you missed at the very beginning of class so that way you will know better not to be late next time.

Keep your phone out on your desk and record her the whole time. She absolutely loves being on TV and she thinks she is some sort of movie star. Make sure you don’t ask for her permission because she might just change her mind that day! Do not draw any pictures during her exam, because that’s mostly what the exam is about. If you don’t draw pictures, good luck finding the exact definition you need for an ID on Google. You might end up on Wikipedia with some whack ass definition that someone with an “F” posted last semester because you were late and couldn’t copy down the IDs. Avoid Blackboard as much as possible. It’s not like this is a web-assisted class or anything! She never posts the slides for the test until the day before the test or ways to make extra cash. She gave us very few quizzes and essays online, so if you didn’t do them it wouldn’t affect your grade at all! She doesn’t allow you to make up any of this stuff either, not that that matters because you don’t have to do it anyway.

Do not and I mean DO NOT add her on Facebook. She will get absolutely pissed that you tried to invade her privacy and will instantly look down upon you and your grade the whole semester. She likes to be on TV and all, but does not like the attention of her students in her personal life.

She’s very hard to get a hold of and I made the mistake of adding her at the beginning of the year. I blame her for my “F” in the class because she instantly didn’t like me right off the bat!

I heard that she posts “bloopers” which are absolutely dumb things that students write on their tests for everyone and God to see! Talk about social suicide.

If you want a big, fat, juicy “F” in Soldani’s class this coming semester, you better take my advice and do all of the following: Do not come to class and take accurate notes and don’t bother studying since everything is in the book, don’t worry about the money system it does nothing for you in the end, come in late if you do come and keep your phone out where she can see it, do not draw any pictures because it’s a complete waste of time, rarely check your blackboard and do not add her on Facebook.

(By B*C)