Wednesday, April 28, 2010

“How to “F” up in Dr. Soldani’s class” (by A*O)

” Well first things first, Dr. Soldani is one of the coolest teachers at TCC and as a cool professor; she doesn’t take attendance so you don’t even have to show up for class.

Those rare days where you do decide to attend, strolling in five, ten hey even fifteen minutes late is perfectly acceptable. She also hands out fake money for various reasons, but you shouldn’t really worry about spending it just hold onto all of it until the last day of class.

Now this may sound confusing, but at the beginning of every class Dr. Soldani puts up a list of “Google” terms and has the class write them down. But I’m onto her crazy antics and I figured out that she only does this just to keep the class busy the first few minutes of class. Therefore, it is not necessary to write them down because they’re not important anyways.

Although you may hear these terms throughout her babbling, pay no mind to them she really is just trying to mess with you. Dr. Soldani is not your typical professor, she lectures in stories and you don’t even have to pay attention to what she’s saying just stare at the PowerPoint the whole time and you’ll be fine.

As you’re gazing at the PowerPoint and completely tuning out her outrageous stories make sure to take notes in list form.

On her PowerPoint’s, Dr. Soldani loves to put up random, comedic, entertaining pictures to keep you interested and from falling asleep. These pictures are solely for entertainment purposes and possess no value to you other than a good laugh.

Now listen carefully because I’m only going to say this once, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT spend your precious time studying for Dr. Soldani’s exams. This will only interrupt your time spent at the pool, at the club and on Facebook. Take it from me; ignore her online study guides and 20 minutes before the exam look over your list of notes and you’ll be golden.

Dr. Soldani loves to stress the fact that her exams are in “essay” form but take my advice, writing a sentence or two about whatever first comes to your mind will suffice. In fact, the more absurd and hilarious your answer is the better grade you’ll receive because we all know Dr. Soldani loves a good laugh! She loves the funny responses so much that she even posts them on Facebook to show off how humorous they are.

Speaking of Facebook, whatever you do, DO NOT add her or request to be her friend. I knew this one kid who dared to ask her to be his friend and not only did she deny him, she totally wrote him a message saying he was a creeper.

So don’t let history repeat itself and become one of those stalkers who lurks on their teachers Facebook pages. Now let’s go over what we learned here today, shall we? In order to majorly “F” up in Soldani’s class you must refer back to the following.

Never attend her class, she’s cool remember? When you do attend coming in late won’t burn a whole in your pocket so hey, go for it.

Do not waste your time writing down “Google” terms, ignore her stories completely, focus on the PowerPoint and make sure to laugh at the random pictures.

Do not spend your money, this isn’t a shopping spree it’s history class, so hold onto it.

Take notes in list form, you know, just like you were taught in middle school.

Make sure not to go out of your way to study for her exams, she’d never want you to miss out on a ladies night just to sit at home and study.

Ignore the “essay” format for her exams, writing a sentence or two will really get you far.

As for the exam answers, bonus points for making absolutely no sense and making Dr. Soldani laugh; more bonus points if you make it on her Facebook page.

Which you wouldn’t know if you did unless she tells you because last but not least, DO NOT be a creeper and add her on Facebook.

I think this pretty much covers it, good luck!