Friday, April 30, 2010

Home Cooking

"It's happening again," Zack exclaims, drawing me out of my grading
stupor. "The oven is overflowing."

Thursday, April 29, 2010

She is odd, a little off, kind of childish, and an extremist. She breaks the definition of a typical professor. This class is definitely an easy ‘A’, you just have to sit there and do nothing; in fact don’t even go to class. My advice to you is to forget all typical classroom rules and you will be just fine. Dr. Soldani was raised in a nunnery and is very sensitive to profane language and usually walks around with ear muffs to block out all the profanity around her. She considers ass, hell, stupid, jerk, and damn as bad words and she will scream at the top of her lungs “God forgive them” if you do happen to slip.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

6 Steps to an F (ZP)



ing your brain is the trick.

Make a Little Difference (L*P)


Many of us have had a certain connection with a soldier whether it was a family member, friend, or acquaintance. I have never met or have known of one until my enrollment in AMH 1041 with Dr.Soldani.

On January 28, 2010 Dr.Soldani gave us an opportunity to do a service project that involved buying soldiers some very useful and practical items. This was a project I had never heard of but it really felt good to be able to be doing for someone that was doing way more for me, my country, and saving the peace for future Americans.

It was important to buy the soldiers necessary items that they would value. We had the choice of sending two boxes, one in the beginning and the other at end of the semester. We also had to write them a letter and mail it within the box showing them our gratitude and support.

This project was not only going to benefit and perhaps alleviate a group of soldiers’ lives for a while but it thankfully affected mine too.

First of all, we had to pick between sending to a hospital or Camp Alamo, which was where some of the soldiers were stationed. We then had to buy useful and necessary items we thought the soldiers would not only enjoy but also appreciate.

In my First box I decided to send the soldiers razors, Caramel cookies, cards, anti bacterial gel, deodorant, gum, bars or Irish Spring soap, socks and some mixed candies. I knew that they would appreciate more the bars of soap, socks, deodorant, and anti bacterial gel but they would definitely enjoy the rest. To me it really didn’t matter how much I was spending because it really couldn’t compare to what they were doing for me. I tried to accommodate all of the repeated items so that I could fit everything nicely that way they could enjoy more things.

In the second box, I got similar things but added boxes of Cracker Jacks and some packs of Twinkies. Both of my boxes were filled to the top but all I hoped for was that the soldiers would benefit from them emotionally and that their cravings for common snacks and comfort would be met.

The next part of our service project was adding a letter of gratefulness, a story of a vet in our family or that of one of one in our classes. I chose to write a letter thanking them for what they do each day not only because I have never met a soldier but I felt that they would be better honored if I expressed my immediate gratitude.

In my letter I mentioned not knowing a soldier but I felt that I had immense gratefulness just for the servitude they were doing for me. I also included that they by far were the most courageous people I have ever hope to personally meet and to let them know that not everyone could do what they were doing. Also I explained to them my experience on 9/11, how I was in religion class learning about always keeping faith.

The irony for me was that on that day I felt America had lost a great deal of faith. I mentioned I had never met any active duty soldier for our Country but after that tragedy I prayed for them all each day to keep them safe and to be returned to their families. How the national anthem means more now than before and it has to also do with these young soldiers whose ages are like mine.

Lastly, I had the privilege of getting a letter back from one of the soldiers whom I never really expected and had a big surprise when I opened my mail. His name is Noah and he is originally from California. He thanked me, for taking my time and spending my money to share with strangers I had never met. He also talked about how he hoped to one day visit Florida. I was glad that he not only liked what he received but that he too took time to let me know.

I will always keep that letter and in the future send him more items he can enjoy.

Lastly, the project assigned by Dr.Soldani not only changed many soldiers’ lives but also those of us that chose to participate in this great and very rewarding activity.

This is the first project that not only I take pleasure in doing but I also feel like I actually made a difference in someone’s life.

I hope other teachers learn from Dr. Soldani’s thoughtful service assignment and do it as well because it truly is satisfying to give to those that are giving of their lives. I hope that everyone that also did this project feels a great sense of pride and feels that they too made a little difference in a soldier’s hectic life.

(LAUREN P)

Service, from K*P



In Dr. Soldani’s class, you will do a service project. . One box goes to the VA Hospital, and the other goes to Afghanistan. It’s your choice to pick which one you would like to do. Either box goes to a former student of Dr Soldani’s.

This is a nice, thoughtful way to give back to our troops.

For the service project, I did both. I received 200$ and one letter grade. The box I sent to Matthew Reel in Afghanistan had a variety of things in it. I sent beef jerky, wipes, razors, shaving jell, tooth brushes, tooth paste, deodorant, noodles, and of course, pictures of me!

It actually felt really good sending a box to a troop. I felt very supportive, and thankful.

In the box, I also included a letter (which is sprayed with perfume).

My letter said: To my soldier. Matthew Reel, thank you so much for everything. You are truly my hero. There is no way I could ever thank you enough for everything you do for me, and our country. I am K P from Dr. Soldani’s class. I’ve heard a lot about you. As a part of my service grade I am sending you this box. I’m 19 years old and I’m the middle child out of 5 kids. I’m Greek, and have a big Greek family. I’m originally from Tampa, Fl. And I’m here in Tallahassee going to school. Where are you from? Do you have brothers and sisters as well? Do you play any sports. What are your hobbies? I have a cousin in Iraq right now serving as well. Every night when I pray for him, I will be thinking of you too. I hope you enjoy your care package with all the goodies I sent you. I also hope that you write me a letter back. I would love to hear from you. Like I said, I cannot thank you and everyone there enough for what you all do. You are amazing… (That’s all I can remember from memory).

Matthew Reel did receive my package and wrote me back. I was so happy in class when I got a letter back from him! I felt so good inside, Like I really did help someone. You will too I’m sure.

  It was great to become Matthew Reels friend on face book because I got to see how appreciative he was about our boxes! He even posted pictures up.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to meet David Lowe who is in the VA hospital, but I sure hoped he enjoyed what I gave to him. Things such as checkers, chess, card games, chocolate, magazines, word searches, and hygiene products were put in his box. Although I didn’t get to be the one to deliver his presents, I heard about how happy he was and how much he enjoyed everything.

I also wrote David Lowe a letter. I didn’t save this letter onto my computer but I wrote briefly about myself. Also, I told David that if he ever needs anything else to write me back asking me for it. I told David about a family member I had in the hospital for 3 years. I told David to get well soon so we could have classes together at TCC.

It’s truly amazing how you can feel after doing your “homework”. This project made me realize what I had to be thankful for in life. I’m healthy, able to attend school, and happy.

I highly recommend the upcoming students to do both these projects.

It’s worth the feeling it gives you.

(K*P)

Service Project & Letter (from Al*O)



During the course of this semester I chose to do the service project to the troops overseas in Afghanistan.

I also had extra items leftover from this project that could not fit into the box, and donated those extras to the vets in the hospital.

I felt sending a box of goodies to the soldiers serving in Afghanistan would really show my appreciation and thanks for all that they have done for our country. The box I sent contained soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, razors, shaving cream, gel, board games, deodorant, cross word puzzles, cards, dice, ramen noodles and a few other items.

Inside the box was also a written letter by me.
Although in the letter we were supposed to write a story about someone we knew in the military or who used to serve in the military I honestly didn’t know anyone.

In my letter, I wrote a story about my life and my first year up at school 8 hours away from my family (which of course doesn’t compare to being half way around the world away from my family). By opening up to a stranger, a hero and telling him about myself it made me feel much closer to him rather than if I told him a story about somebody else. I told him I’ve never had anyone or known anyone in the army and asked him if he could write me back telling me his story. I wished him well and thanked him for fighting for our freedom. I then sprayed my letter with my favorite perfume and placed a picture inside of the box of myself.

A week or so later I saw pictures on Facebook of the boxes my classmates and I had sent. I added Matthew Reel on Facebook and saw he had posted a bunch of new pictures from what we had sent him. Some of the students had gotten really creative with the project and took pictures with a sign that said, I love a man in uniform and had a bunch of girls at the bar hold them up and take a picture. As I was going through all of the pictures I noticed one where my picture I had sent was hanging on his wall by his bed.

To see my picture hanging up by his bed really was an honor to me.

It made me so happy and proud to know that I could give back to someone who has sacrificed so much for our country.

This project taught me how good it feels to give back to those who do so much and how good it feels to be able to brighten up their day.

(by Al*O)


“How to “F” up in Dr. Soldani’s class” (by A*O)

” Well first things first, Dr. Soldani is one of the coolest teachers at TCC and as a cool professor; she doesn’t take attendance so you don’t even have to show up for class.

Those rare days where you do decide to attend, strolling in five, ten hey even fifteen minutes late is perfectly acceptable. She also hands out fake money for various reasons, but you shouldn’t really worry about spending it just hold onto all of it until the last day of class.

Now this may sound confusing, but at the beginning of every class Dr. Soldani puts up a list of “Google” terms and has the class write them down. But I’m onto her crazy antics and I figured out that she only does this just to keep the class busy the first few minutes of class. Therefore, it is not necessary to write them down because they’re not important anyways.

Although you may hear these terms throughout her babbling, pay no mind to them she really is just trying to mess with you. Dr. Soldani is not your typical professor, she lectures in stories and you don’t even have to pay attention to what she’s saying just stare at the PowerPoint the whole time and you’ll be fine.

As you’re gazing at the PowerPoint and completely tuning out her outrageous stories make sure to take notes in list form.

On her PowerPoint’s, Dr. Soldani loves to put up random, comedic, entertaining pictures to keep you interested and from falling asleep. These pictures are solely for entertainment purposes and possess no value to you other than a good laugh.

Now listen carefully because I’m only going to say this once, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT spend your precious time studying for Dr. Soldani’s exams. This will only interrupt your time spent at the pool, at the club and on Facebook. Take it from me; ignore her online study guides and 20 minutes before the exam look over your list of notes and you’ll be golden.

Dr. Soldani loves to stress the fact that her exams are in “essay” form but take my advice, writing a sentence or two about whatever first comes to your mind will suffice. In fact, the more absurd and hilarious your answer is the better grade you’ll receive because we all know Dr. Soldani loves a good laugh! She loves the funny responses so much that she even posts them on Facebook to show off how humorous they are.

Speaking of Facebook, whatever you do, DO NOT add her or request to be her friend. I knew this one kid who dared to ask her to be his friend and not only did she deny him, she totally wrote him a message saying he was a creeper.

So don’t let history repeat itself and become one of those stalkers who lurks on their teachers Facebook pages. Now let’s go over what we learned here today, shall we? In order to majorly “F” up in Soldani’s class you must refer back to the following.

Never attend her class, she’s cool remember? When you do attend coming in late won’t burn a whole in your pocket so hey, go for it.

Do not waste your time writing down “Google” terms, ignore her stories completely, focus on the PowerPoint and make sure to laugh at the random pictures.

Do not spend your money, this isn’t a shopping spree it’s history class, so hold onto it.

Take notes in list form, you know, just like you were taught in middle school.

Make sure not to go out of your way to study for her exams, she’d never want you to miss out on a ladies night just to sit at home and study.

Ignore the “essay” format for her exams, writing a sentence or two will really get you far.

As for the exam answers, bonus points for making absolutely no sense and making Dr. Soldani laugh; more bonus points if you make it on her Facebook page.

Which you wouldn’t know if you did unless she tells you because last but not least, DO NOT be a creeper and add her on Facebook.

I think this pretty much covers it, good luck!

Six Easy Steps To Failure (by C*O)




Dear Student, As we all know it’s the beginning of the semester, we have our new notebooks and fresh pens and pencils. Our textbooks are just bought, we are looking pretty studious.

This letter is for you, written by a former student who successfully failed this AMH1041 course. I am going to give you some helpful pointers to walk in my footsteps.

Number 1: “Waste Your Money.” You can waste your money by doing a lot of different things. Always showing up late for class is an easy way of throwing your money away. It’s not that big of a deal anyways. That money will not get you far at all. Loosing the money that you do make, if any, will certainly put you on the path to failure.

Number 2: “Skip Class, Enjoy the Sunshine.” Laying out by the pool, going to lunch with your friends or just staying in bed are all great excuses on why you aren’t making it to class. Not going to class isn’t a big deal, all she does is talk and talk. Her lectures are not that important, most of the time you can’t even keep up with them. So let’s just say I would go to lunch with my best friend then sit in her class for another lecture.

Number 3: “OMG, No she did not!” [sent] We all know that if you actually make it to class you need to bring a distraction device. I suggest your cell phone, it’s the perfect tool. Also keep your phone on a loud vibrate, so you know when it goes off... and so will the whole class. Texting is important and you will be sure to fail this class if you keep yourself in the gossip world. Another great distraction device is your IPOD. Listening to your favorite music will certainly make the class time fly by.

Number 4: “Reject Her Friend Request.” Dr. Soldani has a face book, yes it’s true. She posts up a lot of information on her face book as well on black board. But if you don’t want exam slides or important date updates, just click “ignore.” It’s just unnecessary information that blows up your newsfeed. We all know how annoying that gets.

Number 5: “Unprepared” Once in awhile you should go to class just to see “what’s up.” But you honestly don’t need paper or a pen. Note-taking is for losers. It takes forever it seems like and it cramps up your hand. It’s really not worth it at all. The professor talks really fast usually so it’s hard to keep up with the notes anyways. It’s basically a big waste of time.

Number 6: “Cheat.” Plain and simple, cheat. Since we aren’t going to class nor taking notes, cheating on the exams, papers, quizzes and finals seem like a good idea to automatically fail the course, and maybe even get a little more attention from the dean.

I hope you took your time reading through my six easy, yet, important steps to failing your AMH1041 course. I give you my word, follow these steps and you will successfully fail this course.

It’s not like this class will help you graduate or anything.... HAPPY FLUNKING!

Sincerely, A Happy Former Failed Student

Dear Future Students... (from A*O)



  AMH 1041 T/R @ 1:05 Dear future students, This letter is for students that will be taking AMH 1041 with Dr. Soldani and want to earn an A in the class.

If you are looking for guidelines for other teachers, look elsewhere because she is like no other teacher here at TCC. Dr. Soldani is a great teacher, so don’t get me wrong! She just has a different way of allowing her students to act in the classroom. As a former student of her, I would like to go over all of the rules in which she expects from everyone so that you aren’t out of the loop. If you don’t follow these rules, there will be consequences.

From what I’ve seen so far, you definitely do not want to slip up and forget these rules.

On the first day of class, she really doesn’t care if you come so I wouldn’t worry about it unless you’re a geek. She will tell you to make it on time every day, but we all know that’s a piece of bologna.

What Dr. Soldani loves the most is when you skip class, because she knows your probably having a much better time doing something else rather than learning history. Most teachers would get mad when their students show up late or don’t come to class at all, but believe me, Dr. Soldani wouldn’t have it any other way. The student’s that do show up for class even after reading all of her former student’s letter’s, just pisses her off.

Make sure your not one of those students; you don’t want to piss her off!

She talks about some kind of money game in beginning of the semester and it’s really stupid and pointless. The only way you will find out about the money game is if you go to her class the first day, so therefore I guess I’m just talking to a bunch of loser, nerds. Anyways, the game is to give out fake money and in the end of the semester all you do is hand it back. Like I said it’s really stupid! No matter how pointless it is, she loves it.

Make sure that when you do get the stupid, fake money that you put it somewhere you can’t find it because she loves when people don’t turn her money back in to her.

Once class starts, make sure to keep all electronic devices out on your desk.

She understands that typing your notes is a lot easier than writing them, so at anytime you want to use your laptop feel free.

She also knows that if you have a laptop out, you’re obviously going to be on facebook or other websites and guess what?

She’s all for it!

If your phone goes off during class, she’ll look at you like she’s mad but she really isn’t. She loves when people have conversations going on while she up front teaching; it reminds her that everyone is happy and has lots to talk about. Dr. Soldani loves it when students come to class with nothing to write with or on.

I really don’t think there’s a greater joy for her other than students skipping class. The only people that do bring their note taking material to class are geeks.

Who wants to be known as a geek? Not me! I’m sure you don’t either so to avoid this, you need to make sure that you never brink your notebook to class.

The cool way to get your notes though, is to film her on your webcam or cell phone. Heck, you might as well even bring a video camera because she loves being recorded.

She understands that students don’t feel like writing down notes or even copying them from others; she feels that recording her during class is the best method out there for her students. I truly hope that you decide to follow these rules because if you don’t, you’re in for a rude awakening.

When I first read letters from her former students, I thought to myself, “ are they just saying this stuff to get me in trouble?” and so like an idiot I show up to class the first day and took notes.

I guess I should have realized before that the letters weren’t there to get me in trouble but instead to help me. It was really embarrassing being the only person in the class so every day after that, I showed up late, used my laptop to record her, used my phone during class, and I made sure to lose that stupid money of hers.

I hope that you understand the importance of following her rules because you don’t want to be an outcast in your class. Sincerely, a former student

(A*O)

Be Late, Text Often, and Be Proud: Avoiding the Ugly A (by Austin)

Be Late, Text Often, and Be Proud

This is an insider’s guide to Dr. Soldani’s class. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, as I may end up getting an A, or even worse, extra credit.

If you follow my tips, I promise, no, guarantee that you will not have to explain to your parents why there is an ugly A on your transcript. Now I must warn you, once you commence with my trusted ways, people will start staring and whispering, but this is just the ugly face of jealousy.

 Trust me, I have been disgraced by good grades and hard work in the past, and I have finally perfected my fail-sure method.

My primary weapon employed in the fight against an education, and a possible passing grade was to be late. This is by far the simplest and most effective way to fail. Now, showing up even just one minute late will do, as you will be indebted to Dr. Soldani, but we will get to that part later.

The true art of being late is to time it so it disrupts her silly speeches, or “lectures” as most would refer to them as. I typically show up about twenty minutes late, as this is just when her rhythm gets going and the class is totally believing what she is saying is important.

She achieves this hypnotic state through a constant barrage of trivial bits of information you will need if you plan to pass. Your mission is to enter the room and immediately draw the attention to yourself, and be creative, just walking in is for amateurs.

A second, but potent tool in your arsenal is your ever present cell phone. You may believe your device is just for games and communication, but I will tell you how to make it an ally in the war against those who would choose to learn.

Most obviously, leave the ringer on, and have it on your desk and vibrating for good measure. Dr. Soldani will be so thankful she will stop the entire class to look at you, expecting something, just sit there puzzled; she loves that response. In addition to just having your cell phone ring, I recommend texting all of your buddies in the class just in case they have their ringers on full volume as well; this will be most impressive to all in witness.

The last method of indulgence is to use the phone to record the audio in class, Dr. Soldani likes to hear herself later, and you can email her copies of her classes.

Now to explain what I mean by being indebted to Dr. Soldani. She has devised a way to get people to do work outside of the classroom. I know it sounds ridiculous, but she uses fake money, called “class cash” to make her con more effective, I promise you it’s a sham

. She will also give you opportunities to help others and earn “class cash” through community projects, but we all know helping others for fake money is quite silly. Now the purpose of this money is to “buy” extra credit points for each test. This again is a waste of time as you will not want to bother with the tests. This money is also used to buy your forgiveness for being late as I described earlier, and why standing there with a puzzled look will be most entertaining to all.

After you have shown up late, and taken your time to find a seat, you may notice the rest of the class writing. They are taking notes, actual notes on what Dr. Soldani is saying. Now you may be enticed to take notes because you want to be like everyone else, but I swear that these “notes” are a complete waste of time, as they are just what you need to know to pass the test. Besides, you can just look at the slides she posts on blackboard later. In addition to passing the test, you will undoubtedly learn many new facts about the world around you and how it came to be. Besides, you should be too busy texting to take notes.

Lastly, if you really want to make this easy on yourself, just don’t show up. I know it sounds silly, as you have just paid for the class, but it would be a waste of gas money, and precious party time, to go all the way to class.

Now, if your going to be absent, at least show up from time to time, so that is obvious that you are absent. As a wonderful side effect, you will have no idea when tests are, and will not be bothered with having to study for these tests. Since your goal is to fail, you most definitely won’t want to bother yourself with the final, leave that to the poor saps that are trying to pass the course, and further their understanding of the world they live in.

In summation, I pray that all those that read this will take head and avoid this “education” that will infect your very soul.

Take my word, if you do take notes, show up, help others, and study, YOU WILL PASS. This would not only take up time and validate the money spent on the course, but your brain will be engorged with a vast amount of information that you otherwise would never have bothered with.

I tried to resist myself, but have found that I have a better understanding of what is expected of me as a student, and an adult in an educational institute.

Please, learn from my mistake, and spread the word, Dr. Soldani’s course is a mental trap for those dedicated to higher learning.

(By A*J)

Service Project (from a Service Mom*)

I am overwhelmed with all of the attention that is / has been given to the service project by the students. Some grumbled when the first learned of the project.

As I initially stated in my evaluation letter, the service project that is assigned as a part of this class’s curriculum had some bearing on why I chose this particular history over any other history class. I personally think that it is a wonderful concept and idea.

I chose to send my projects to the veterans hospital mainly because I have a son that is in the marines, and he is about to do his second tour. I already know that once he gets there I will be sending items to him as well as others near him.

I have never sent anything to the veteran’s hospital and actually I had overlooked the fact that there are militants that close to me that would enjoy to receive items as well. I am not blind to that fact anymore.

I did participate in both of the projects on the first one I sent some Easter items so that they may decorate their rooms. I had my children with me when I went shopping and I explained the assignment to them and allowed each one of them to pick out an item as well. They had fun deciding the one item that they were allowed to select actually it caused a little bit of a problem cause they wanted to select more than one.

In the box I put: • Wall hanging with a rabbit on it, some plastic grass for decor • W snow globe with a bunny in it, an easter egg rubiks cube • Some transparencies to hand in the window • Some Easter painting crafts and a lot of other craft items (to keep them busy) • Some door hangers, things to decorate easter eggs with, • And many other items as well

For my 2nd service box I focused on hygienic items….. • Bath soap for men • Laundry bags • Shaving cream • Toothbrushes • Playing cards (for relaxing after they bathe) • About 30 pair of socks (forgot there were so many amputees there) • And some more various items

I wrote a letter to David explain to him that I had a son in the marine corps and I know first hand how it feels to know that someone cares. I thank him and his fellow residents all they do and all they have done for us, America, people in general.

I myself am truly grateful and I know without a doubt that others are happy as well; they just don’t know how to show it. Now, that these guys have given their life for us, perhaps one of the simplest things we can do it to wake up every morning and go out into the world with a smile. We should show some type of appreciation for the fact that we are able to function from day to day.

In our appreciation we should do as they have done, meaning you don’t have to go out and fight a war or become a street vigilante. Just show that you care about your country and be respectful of others, maybe every now and then help someone that is down, anyone just anyone (it doesn’t have to be a militant). It doesn’t cost anything to say or show that they care. This is among the least that you can do but the options never end.

People should pray for the safe return of our troops sometimes it does not matter to people until it hits home. They should remember that their son or daughter could wake up any day and tell them that they are going to enlist, then what?

I have enjoyed being in your class this semester and I look forward to being in your 1050 class in the fall.

Please don’t ever stop the service projects and I am glad that it counts 10 percent of your grade it will get the students to participate because they recognize that without it a B is the highest grade they can get….

(from D*J)

How to Slide By ( by Jack)

 How to Slide By

I have been in many history classes and this is one of the easiest classes to get an A in without doing a lot of work. There are so many different factors that benefit the student that make this class the easiest class to pass.

First Dr. Soldani has something called a money system that works as extra credit towards tests, homework, and quizzes. This system basically is automatic and one does not even need to work for the extra credit it basically comes to you, gosh it’s so easy.

All of the little things in her class were very convenient for example how we could use our phones, going in and out of class whenever one wants, and talking, were all things that were allowed to keep us comfortable and paying attention to the schoolwork up on the board, but in reality we never listened to Dr. Soldani and we still did great.

There are many reasons why this class is the easiest class on campus and requires less work, than walking to class, to get an A.

know from experience that going to class was not a necessity at all, but I still went because I am a great student and figured what else would I be doing.

You should try and stall going to class for as long as possible because the things in the beginning of the notes are not important at all and Dr. Soldani does not penalize you for being late like she warned in the beginning.

I was at first scared she would take my money from me but my first time late I just told her I will pay her later and she let it slide, and later ended up forgetting.

So I say be late to class because it only can do well. Another great thing about this class is how comfortable I was.

Every Tuesday and Thursday when I would come to this class I would have a great feeling.

This class was one of the most lenient classes I would be allowed to text on my phone and leave class whenever I pleased and she would not even care at all. So when you go to class make sure you have a good texting phone for when the class gets boring and you need to space out for a little.

Also whenever you have to go to the bathroom there is no charge like she warned and you can go whenever you want it’s the most freedom I have had in any class my whole life. I even can fall asleep in class and get away with getting some of my extra points taken away. One of the greater things was how easy the coursework was.

The class work in Dr. Soldani’s class is extremely easy everything you have to do can be done with only writing down the notes. She makes her tests on a PowerPoint and my advice would be to not even pay attention about what she is saying and just right down the notes because she is not saying anything important. So basically what I am saying is if you take notes you pretty much will get an A if you just take the notes.

Hooray you finally found an easy class! Also all the work online and quizzes and essays and such just like the one I am writing now should require no effort because it is not a big part of your grade compared to the tests. Soo make sure you do well on the tests so you can slack off on the rest of the class work. In summary, this whole essay had a purpose to help you do great in class and pass with flying colors.

And if you want to do all of this you are on the right track to FAIL!

This is an essay that describes what type of person will get a 0 in this class.

A person with no drive and no sense would be the only one to fail in Dr. Soldani’s class and this essay is what that person would do.

Dr. Soldani’s class requires only one hint or pointer from the student -- If you do exactly what Dr. Soldani tells you to do which is not anything hard you will get an A and have a really fun class full of cussing and funny stories about how messed up our history is and how great it is as well.

I know I walked out of there with a full American experience.

Service Project (from Star Student)

In Dr. Soldanis history class, we had to do a service project for the soldiers that are fighting for our country. Our options were to send a care package over seas or give a bag of goodies to the veterans at the Tallahassee Memorial Hospital.

I chose to send a package over seas that consisted of different foods, cigarettes, pictures of me, and toiletries. I chose to send the package because I felt as if it would bring joy to all the soldiers over seas, and they would be grateful to finally receive thanks from the American people.

I wrote the soldiers a letter that explained who I am, and why I wrote the letter. I told them that I was a student in Dr. Soldani’s class and how she encourages all of us to give back to the soldiers fighting for our freedom.

I told them that they were doing a great job, and everyone over here at Tallahassee Community College greatly appreciates everything they are doing, and we want to honor them. I also wrote in my letter, that my uncle is over seas also and how I cant imagine what their families are going through because my Uncle has been over seas for over a year and half.

I explained to them the affect that my Uncle has had on my family, and I hope that they know what they are doing for our country and for their families. I sent pictures of me and my friends so that they can see an example of what they are fighting for. I hope they know how greatly they are appreciated, and sending the letter and gifts helped me grateful that I live in a country full of freedom.

This really had a great affect on me as well as the soldiers, because it made me feel more appreciative and made me think back on all the freedom I have in America by being able to hang out with my friends whenever I want, eat the foods I want, and be able to do basically anything I want.

The letter I wrote to the soldiers impacted me greatly because it came from my heart and I discovered how much they truly have changed all of our lives. The things I put in the box were items that I knew they would appreciate.

They do so much for this country, that I felt as if I should give something back to them. They fight for our freedom, so I feel as if everyone should send as much as they can to the soldiers who fight for us.

The package took me about 45 minutes to make and came from my heart and soul. Making this package in forty five minutes made me realize that this time, compared to the time and energy they are spending over seas is nothing.

I would like to do more for the men and women fighting for us, and this class made me realize how much I appreciate them because Dr. Soldani would go into depth and detail about all the things they have to do and the suffrage they are going through with housing, eating, and the lack there of. This project made me find out who I truly was, by giving back to the soldiers.

Even though I am not taking this class next year I will most definitely be doing this project again, but not for a grade but for my self.

This project made me feel really good about my self, because it made me feel not selfish but more of a grateful thing. I am honored I was assigned this project, and got to have the chance to tell people that I did give back to the soldiers over seas.

(by Start Student)

HOW TO FAIL * From a Star Student

Dear “Failure,” Welcome to Dr. Soldani’s history class!

This class is extremely hard, and is so easy to fail. So listen up, take notes so you can definitely make sure you fail this class.

To make sure you fail this class make sure you do this: either don’t come to class, or come to class late, and don’t take any notes, and use your phone if you do, while Dr. Soldani is lecturing(she will love it.) A
lso don’t do any of the assignments Dr. Soldani assigns. Doing all these things will for sure earn you an “F” in this class.If you miss Dr. Soldani’s class this will be the perfect way to fail this class because you will miss so much material.

For instance, when Dr. Soldani lectures she gives you all these information that you will need to know for all your exams. So if you miss class then you will be so lost and not know what to write for each power point slide. Also, coming to class late is another perfect way to fail this class.

Coming to class late means that you will miss the “google key terms” that Dr. Soldani assigns five minutes before class starts. If you don’t know the google key terms then you will be very lost because you will not know what each terms matches with what slide.

When you are late you also have to “owe” money to Dr. Soldani for coming late, so if you make running late a habit then you will not have a lot of money to buy out of your last final, extra points on exams, or buy out of quizzes, and essays.

Speaking of the whole “money” situation, just do not even worry about that since this is letter I am writing to you is all about “how to fail Dr. Soldani’s class.” So just do not even bother collecting money, or writing your money log down or anything!

Most importantly, do not, I repeat do not take any notes during lecture. If you do not take notes during lecture then you will miss the story that Dr. Soldani explains for each slide. Not taking notes during her lectures will also make you forget about each story she explains for each slide, so when you have to study for your exam you will have nothing to study for because you didn’t write down the interesting funny story.

If I were you the easiest way not to take notes during her lecture is just fall asleep, doodle on a piece of paper or…USE YOUR CELL PHONE! Speaking of cell phone this is a guarantee way of failing this class. Using your phone while Dr. Soldani lectures means you have to owe her “money,” so there goes more money that you will not get to have, and you get called out in front of the whole entire class which can and will be very embarrassing, and you will already be on her bad side if you make this happen every class.

Okay, another good way to fail this class would not to do any of the assignments Dr. Soldani assigns to you through out the semester. The assignments are usually, take home quizzes, and essays. Not doing these assignments will make you fail this history class because these assignments are worth between ten to twenty percent of your grade.

Another tip to fail this class is do not buy the book. If you do not buy the book then you will not have the answers to help you to do the online quizzes, or essays Dr. Soldani assigns.

Well there you go “failure.”

All this advice I just told you about will most definitely guarantee you a way to fail this class. Just make sure you do everything I told you to do in this “how to fail Dr. Soldani’s class.” Do not come to class, or come to her class late, do not write down any of the google terms, or write down any notes while Dr. Soldani lectures.

Remember to use your cell phone while Dr. Soldani lectures, and not do any of the assignments she assigns through out the semester.

It’s very easy to do, you can do! Sincerely, “Star” Student

Tips from Tiff*

Tips from Tiff Hi, thank you for logging onto www.TTAMH1041.com,”Tips from Tiff” is sure to provide professor Soldanis’ future AMH1041 students with helpful tips and advice that is needed for this class. Our site consists of four main procedures that we think will help you during your semester in AMH1041.Explained into depth, you will be able to read on note taking, what to do when you’re bored, your freedom in class and how the whole “money” game is just one big joke! We recommend you memorize or write these tips down because what we have to say is going to get you by history with no problems.

To begin with, if you’re going to take notes during class, well you might as well be a nerd! You really think professor Soldani has anything that important to say that you must waste your energy on writing it all down? I don’t think so; this is why text books were invented! Soldani will start the class off my posting up these things called ID’s you’re suppose to write down, but no need to because it’s not like they are “need to know” words, yea you’ll need them for the test but their so easy to memorize.

 After her post of the ID’s, Soldani lectures the class with her “stories” of history. There’s no need in listening to these so called “stories” because nothing she says is going to be on the test, I just think she likes hearing the sound of her own voice.

Oh and she always has pictures up while she’s lecturing, most of the time they are pretty cool so make sure you don’t miss them! So what I’m trying to say is there’s no need in taking notes in this class, go buy the text book and you’re good to go!

Next, everyone gets bored in class and then sometimes we have our mornings having trouble getting out of bed. Well thank goodness professor Soldani is so lenient, you get to have so much freedom.
 If you have a bad morning whether it’s from partying the night before or you just didn’t sleep well that night, no need to worry. I suggest you just don’t go because like I said before, there’s nothing important that you’re going to miss out on. E-mail a classmate that day to tell you what was discussed in class and go read it in the text book.

Or let’s say you felt guilty for skipping class and figured you’d show up but be late, that’s ok too. Most teachers look at walking in late while he/she is lecturing is rude, but not professor Soldani, she’ll usually stop what she’s doing, greet you and then let you get situated.

 Yes, sitting in class for an hour can be pretty boring, so if I were you I’d take out my cell phone and text somebody. It’s no biggie, Soldani doesn’t mind, she also knows sometimes you can get calls during class so she allows you to just get up and walk outside to answer it. Soldani also knows how everyone is addicted to facebook and allows for you to be on your laptop during class.

Definitely take advantage of that previledge and whip your computer out and facebook it, enjoy your freedom!
 Last, I’m sure you’ve heard about Soldani having some kind of “money” game, well you’ve heard correctly but, it’s a big joke! You see, the “money” game is where Soldani has this fake money she hands out to her students for different kinds of reasons.

You can earn money by doing extra credit, showing up for class and many others. The thing that makes it a pain in the butt has to keep track of all of it on the money log she gives you.

What makes her think you’d be interested in worrying about keeping track of your money log when you probably have your own check book to worry about keeping up with it? I don’t have the answer to the question but I do have a suggestion for you so you don’t have to worry about it, don’t do it.

All the money is for is using it as extra credit on the test but it doesn’t help much or buying your way out of assignments, there’s no use in buying your way out of assignments anyway.

To tell you the truth, you’ll end up doing just as much work earning the money as you would do the assignment. Just stick to the normal routine of a student and do the work.

Thank you for visiting our site and we hope that it has given you a heads up and better prepared yourself for professor Soldanis AMH1041. Thanks for visiting!

About the Service Project *

I chose to give items to the patients at the Veteran’s hospital and give items to send to the men in Afghanistan for my service project this semester. I chose to complete both projects because both larger groups of men are important parts of our military and deserve all of the help that is possible. It feels good to be able to give something to them, after they have all risked their lives to keep our country safe. I would not feel right only choosing one of the service projects to contribute to.

I believe that the smallest contributions that Americans can give to our troops, in the Middle East or not, makes a large difference. It lets the men know that we are thinking about them and that what they do is not forgotten and never will be. 

Even if it is not a lot that you are giving, I am sure that they will appreciate it just as much as anything else. These men sacrifice their lives for us every day, so, it should not be a burden for us to purchase a few things and take a small amount of time to go to the post office and send them a care package. I think that it is great the Dr. Soldani included this service project in our class, and all of her other ones. All of the items both groups of men, both in Afghanistan and the hospital, were probably so useful for them. I know they are thankful for everything Dr. Soldani has done to get us all to buy things that we believe are important for the veterans to have, and to also write them a letter to make the care packages more personal. Doing this service project makes me want to try to do more for our troops, the ones I know in the military and the ones I do not know.

I also think that it would be important for Dr. Soldani’s other classes in the future to send these packages, because there can never be too much support from the people at home. 

In the box I sent to the veterans in the hospital I sent: bathroom items such as, razors, shaving cream, body soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and mouthwash, playing cards, a few small games, and some sugar-free candy. In the box that I sent to the men in Iraq I included two of my favorite movies, Liar Liar and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, playing cards, Sports Illustrated magazines (including the swimsuit edition), two puzzles, and a deck of Uno cards, which is always if a fun game to keep people occupied for a while. 


I wanted to send things that will keep the men having fun and thinking about positive things to get their mind off work, as well as home things to keep their personal hygiene good. 

When I sent the stuff to the men in the Veteran’s hospital I also wrote them a letter. I introduced myself, then explained how thankful that I am for brave men like them. I told them a story about one of my great friends that is currently in the Air Force, who also went to Afghanistan for 6 months. I also told them about how my boyfriend is planning on joining the military after he graduates from college. I told them how I was nervous and a bit upset when he told me that he wanted to do this.


But now that I have had time to think about it, I think that it is great that he wants to risk his life and give time to serve his country. It is very important to him that he does this, so I will support him in whatever he chooses to do. In the letter that I wrote to the men in Afghanistan, I explained how thankful that I am that they are overseas in such a dangerous place defending all of us here back in America. Pretty much my whole letter was just to let them know how much we all appreciate how brave they are and that they deserve every bit of support possible from everyone. 

(By D*G)

Successfully Failing (by DG)

There are a few simple ways to do absolutely terrible in Dr. Soldani’s class. First, make sure that you never ever take any notes, they are a complete waste of time and they will not do you any good. So are the 1ID’s she gives you in the beginning of class. They are only a large part of all of the exams she gives, so if you don’t know them you will do bad.

When it comes time to take a test, you will not have any notes, no ID’s, and no knowledge of what went on in class the past two weeks or so. You will be sure to fail.

When Dr. Soldani is lecturing all that you need to do is sit back and at least pretend that you are listening, take a little nap, or even get up and down to go to the bathroom to call your friends.

Just as long as you are not in class taking notes, you’ll do great at failing.

Better yet, everyone should just take calls and send text messages from their friends while sitting in class. Why waste your energy getting up and down when you can just sit in class, ignore everything and have important, meaningful conversations with your friends about what you are planning to do Friday night.

Also, it is fun to have to pay Dr. Soldani twenty dollars every time she sees you with your phone. There is no need to keep your money, so, going in and out of class, being late, and getting caught with your phone is the best way to get rid of it.

The least amount of money you have to put on your tests, pay to get out of assignments, and put in the bank the better.

Also, never do any assignments early to get money, there is no need for it anyway, right? It will just be more work for you to try and get rid of it chatting with your friends during class and being late everyday on purpose.

Another great way to fail the class is to never come to class. Since all of the information given in each lecture links to the next lecture, missing class causes you to miss important lessons that are necessary to good, so missing will definitely cause one to fail, if they miss enough times. Missing class will lead you to knowing nothing on the test, even if you put money on the test none of it will go toward your final because it will all have to be used to lift your terrible grade.

Another thing you should be sure to do if you want to fail the class is never use the study guides Dr. Soldani gives out. The pictures are only the whole test, so if you never look at them to match them with the stories and ID’s, you will be sure to fail the tests. Sometimes Dr. Soldani even gives study guides grouping pictures into groups of three, which is how they appear on the real exam, if you are planning on failing definitely do not look at those, as they will prepare you too much for the test.

Basically, these are all of the ways to successfully fail Dr. Soldani’s class.

Make sure you pay attention to the different strategies you may use to fail successfully, as it is hard to do so.

You will have to try your hardest to do bad, so good luck!

How to Fail the Class -- (Reverse Psychology)


.Tips and Tricks

If you find yourself wondering how to take notes and prepare for exams in Dr. Soldani’s class, it’s a breeze! There are just a few simple tips and tricks that will help you fail.

Do not come to class and take proper notes, and don’t worry about studying those notes regularly.

Try your hardest not to turn in things early so you can get extra money- the money thing is a complete joke!

You should always come in late and keep your phone on the desk just in case you get a call during her lecture.

Never draw pictures during her lecture; it’s a complete waste of ink.

Avoid checking your blackboard account; she never posts anything on there anyways.

But most importantly, do not add her on Facebook considering she is a very private person.

The first and best way to fail Soldani’s AMH1020 class is to never come to class. Her lectures are somewhat boring and she presents them in a manner than just makes you want to fall asleep! She puts up pictures for every ID term and the test has nothing to do with pictures! It’s all multiple choice and straight out of the book. Taking lecture notes will not improve your test grades because you can simply not come to class and just read the book.

The book is much more interesting than her, by the way.

The money system is a complete joke in Soldani’s class. I felt like I was in high school the first day when she handed out all of the fake money. It did nothing for me all year long besides take up extra space in my wallet! She said that we could use it for every test, on homework and make-up assignments, and other miscellaneous things but she lied! She made us use it for coming in late and going to the bathroom which made me go completely broke the first couple of days.

If you do manage to make it to Soldani’s class, come late! She loves it when you come in late so she can catch up with you on all of the fun stuff you missed. She gives you some random IOU paper that will get you out of being late, but she doesn’t take it that serious so throw it away.

She will give you the IDs that you missed at the very beginning of class so that way you will know better not to be late next time.

Keep your phone out on your desk and record her the whole time. She absolutely loves being on TV and she thinks she is some sort of movie star. Make sure you don’t ask for her permission because she might just change her mind that day! Do not draw any pictures during her exam, because that’s mostly what the exam is about. If you don’t draw pictures, good luck finding the exact definition you need for an ID on Google. You might end up on Wikipedia with some whack ass definition that someone with an “F” posted last semester because you were late and couldn’t copy down the IDs. Avoid Blackboard as much as possible. It’s not like this is a web-assisted class or anything! She never posts the slides for the test until the day before the test or ways to make extra cash. She gave us very few quizzes and essays online, so if you didn’t do them it wouldn’t affect your grade at all! She doesn’t allow you to make up any of this stuff either, not that that matters because you don’t have to do it anyway.

Do not and I mean DO NOT add her on Facebook. She will get absolutely pissed that you tried to invade her privacy and will instantly look down upon you and your grade the whole semester. She likes to be on TV and all, but does not like the attention of her students in her personal life.

She’s very hard to get a hold of and I made the mistake of adding her at the beginning of the year. I blame her for my “F” in the class because she instantly didn’t like me right off the bat!

I heard that she posts “bloopers” which are absolutely dumb things that students write on their tests for everyone and God to see! Talk about social suicide.

If you want a big, fat, juicy “F” in Soldani’s class this coming semester, you better take my advice and do all of the following: Do not come to class and take accurate notes and don’t bother studying since everything is in the book, don’t worry about the money system it does nothing for you in the end, come in late if you do come and keep your phone out where she can see it, do not draw any pictures because it’s a complete waste of time, rarely check your blackboard and do not add her on Facebook.

(By B*C)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dear My Students --

The following should answer the most common questions -->

*The deadline to complete your service project is 10 minutes before your Final Exam

* If you are locked out of a makeup quiz and want to be sure to get a grade, I'd suggest you attempt & complete a different quiz.

* If you have a question about an essay, the fastest way to ask your question is to email me @ soldanim@tcc.fl.edu

AMH 1041 Final is 4/29 @ 12:30 in our usual classroom.
AMH 1050 Final is 4/30 @ 10am in our usual classroom.

Peace!

AMH 1050 FINAL EXAM STUDY GUIDE

AMH 1041 - Final Exam Study Guide *

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Ten-fold Commandments

When I pick her up from school at carpickup, her mood shifts quickly
from affectionately happy to stiffly indignant.

"Mom! Friend X had gum with her today and I asked her for a piece. A
piece!! And do you know what she said?"

I don't answer, but I know.

Still I raise my eyebrows and turn my head her way slightly,
silently encouraging the story.

"Mom! She said no! I couldn't believe it. No!?4 So I asked her if she
knew about the Ten Commandments, and she said no, so I told her about
the one that whatever you give you get back ten-fold."

I turn the car down our street and then aim it at the garage,
involuntarily but quietly giggling at the failure of my home-church
curriculum.

"Mom? Stop laughing! Why are you laughing? Nevermind. Just listen.
So Friend Y interrupts us and tells me to stop trying to trick Friend
X with all my 'smart talk' about things. And then Mom! She says that
everyone knows the Ten Commandments were just made up. Mom? Can you
believe that? Made up? They're real. They're history. Made up?!"

Zoe exhales her frustrated conclusion.

I shake my head. "Third grade sounds tough."

Zoe nodded, got out of the car and slipped back into her usual happy
mood.

************************************
sent from my iPhone

Monday, April 5, 2010

Delicate Loss

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Yes it's me again, and yes you still owe me $7 for covering you the last two times, but that's not why I am writing tonight.

I'm sure by now your Tooth Radar has alerted you that Zack lost  another front tooth today.

This particular tooth died a lingering public death in the front of my sons mouth, then suddenly
disappeared.

I suspect he ate it, though I can't imagine how he the boy who won't touch anything that touched a pickle could have distractedly eaten a piece of his own body.

So let this note substitute for the tooth you will not find under his pillow.

Thank you in advance for your consideration of this delicate situation, and for not requiring me to comb through his poop to produce evidence.

Sincerely,

Zack's Mom

Ps- I have less than $2 in cash in my purse, which I locked it in my car (and explains why I'm sleeping with the keys in my bra.) Stop taking my money. I mean it.

A Delicate Letter to the Easter Bunny

(From 2010) Dear Sir or Madam,

(really, which is it? because at the Mall you were wearing an awkward calico vest that could've gone either way...)


Thank you for everything you do to spread Easter cheer. I'm sure it can't be easy to balance a big sack on your round back and then fill baskets with your tiny non-thumbed paws. I hope that you have a lovely night tonight, and that you absolutely don't forget to bring me Cadbury Creme Eggs. 

But enough of the formalities.

I'm writing to bring your attention to a delicate situation.

 Last year we had an unfortunate incident where a malted-milk-egg looking sphere turned out to be a less savory gift from you.  


Thank goodness the dirty muddy tracks leading away warned us to not sample the chocolate-looking treat.


I'm writing to ask you to please wipe your paws off and take care of your "bunny potty needs" before breaking into our house tonight.

If I had any clue how you got in (a window? sliding glass door? the fireplace? from the TV screen?) I would leave you a nice towel to clean yourself off, but as you can see,  I'm clueless about your magical bunny ways.

Happy Easter!

PS - Please give both kids the exact same amount of the exact same things in the exact same colors and flavors, or my day tomorrow will be a sugar filled day of holiday fighing hell.

PPSS -- Please , please, if you have room in your big Bunny saddle bag, PLEASE bring enough candy so I can bring leftovers to my students --  I probably won't have their exams graded for Monday and I want to sweeten their bitter disappointment. 

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Dumb Bunny

So being good Americans, we decide to be PREPARED and DRILL for tomorrow, identifying any weak spots or issues in our egg hunting strategy.

While I was writing a long letter to the Easter Bunny (asking nicely that s/he doesn't poop in my house again this year), the kids hid the 28 dyed eggs that have lived in our fridge for about a week.

I find all the eggs -- the one under the cow that looked like he was pooping it out; the ones in the window sill and under the sofa; the ones inside the folds of the blanket (already crackled and falling apart).

So then it was my turn to hide eggs. I found the juicy spots -- behind Barack Obama, in front of the bookcase,  among coloring books, on chairs.

And out they raced, throwing elbows.

He cried, she found more, he cried, she helped him.

The final tally? 16 eggs for her, 11 for him.

We kept looking.

Was the last egg by the Wii? under the coffee table? behind a sofa leg? no?

I did the only thing I could.

I called the Bunny Hotline. (My dad)

When the menu came up, I pressed option #2: "Finding Lost Eggs"

Warning the Bunny he was on speakerphone, I asked, "Please use your magic bunny powers to locate a missing egg. Um, not hidden by the offical bunny, of course, just a practice egg..."

"HI" he said in a squeaky chipmunk voice that barely disguised his New Orleans 9th Ward accent.

The kids laughed.

"Bunny? Where is that egg? Can you help?"

"HI!" he said again, in the same loud squeaky tone.

The kids laughed again.


"Bunny? Can you help me?"

"HI!" comes from the phone, again.

The kids laugh more, and Zack took the phone and said, "Hey? Are you a dumb bunny?"

I cover my mouth in shock, then whisper, "We don't SAY that!"

"HI!"

Zack walks away, continuing his interrogation.

Zoe, thinking maybe it was Papa on the phone, picks up the landline and calls her grandfather.

He answers her call with "HI!"

She laughs and the three of them embark on a three way conversation which I slip away from, trying to get back to my writing deadline.

Then I hear Zack shout,  " HEY, I FOUND IT!" followed by a scuffling noise and "HEY, THAT's MINE!"

They race to me and she wins because he trips and quits, laying on the floor crying.

I step over him and pick up one of the two abandoned phones.

"Papa? You there?"

He laughs.

"I shouldn't have hidden eggs today. Bad idea, huh?"

After a minute he says, "Dumb bunny."

And -- stepping over the chaos and crying and general craziness that comes with kids before every holiday -- I get back to writing.