Hide and Go Seek.... And WIN at ALL Costs

So last weekend we were playing hide-and-go-seek.

We play as teams --

1) Zoe and Zack vs. Mommy

2) Mommy and Zack vs. Zoe

but never Zoe and Mommy vs. Zack because when Zack hides by himself just stands in the middle of a room with his hands over his eyes.... then, when found, shouts "surprise! kiss me!"

There is one rule ---> My team ALWAYS has to win.

Challenge #1
Our house isn't that big.

The "good spots" all go out the window after the first few rounds.

The kids hide in the bathtub (together) the hamper (together) under the bed (together) and under the coffeetable (together, giggling)

Challenge #2
My kids are pretty small..... so they only count to 20.

This doesn't give me a lot of time to find a spot. Gotta think fast, move quietly.

Well, on Saturday, during round #4 (Zack and Zoe vs. Mommy) I found a great spot.

I slid behind the door of my walk-in closet, then got a bolt of inspiration.

Anne Frank's family covered the door to their hiding with a bookcase during their time in hiding.... so I wedged a big blue exercise ball in the closet doorway.

Ha! **Brilliant**


READY OR NOT, HERE WE COME

I could hear them look by the bed... under the nightstand.... then back out to the entry hall... they looked behind the sofa.... then I couldn't hear them anymore.

After about 5 minutes, I allowed myself to stop pressing up against the wall. I slid down to a kinda kneeling position and waited.

And waited.

Fifteen minutes passed.

Plates clacked, glasses clinked.

What the hell? Did they forget about me?

I didn't move.

I was winning the freaking game, even if they forgot it was going on.

Thirty minutes passed.

I had to pee.

Winners don't quit. Quitters don't win. I stood my ground.


Forty-five minutes passed.

The game isn't over until *I* say it's over, people!


An hour passed.

I was writing chapter 27 in my head.


What? What's that noise?!


MOM WE'RE BORED!!!!!

MOM!!

MOM!!!!!!

Mommeeeee!?

Meeeema???

MAMA?!

MOM????


I choked.
Giggled.

At last they were going to find me!!

They banged on the bathroom door.

MOMMY COME OUT! MOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!

Now I'm biting my lip. Silly kids!
I win. I win. I win!!!

DADDY SHE WON'T ANSWER! MOMMY IS HIDING FROM US!!

Daddy comes into the room, gets the key to unlock the bathroom.

I hear the three of them barge into the unlocked, unoccupied bathroom.

SHE'S NOT IN THERE!

WHERE DID MOMMY GO???

Mommy?!

Melissa?

Now I laugh.

The kids walk to the closet and I jump out ROARRRRR.

They scream, giggle, cling to me like the velcro children that they are....


I'm was in the CLOSET this WHOLE time!

Why were you in the closet "this WHOLE time?"

Because we were playing hide-and-go-seek, and I WON!

How did you WIN?

No one found me!

You sat in this dark closet all this time? I was keeping the kids busy so you could write.

Oh.

Oh?

Thanks?

Are you really that competitive?

Yes.

Fine. You win.

I KNOW I WON I"M THE GRRRRRRRRRRREATEST!

And you know what?

We haven't really played the game since... I think my family is kinda afraid of me.

Which, in my little world, is *not* a bad thing.