Faith, Hope and Love (and Coconuts)

Remember how, on my Abuela's bittersweet birthday, I asked her very nicely to throw coconuts at people she loves? http://laughingmelissa.blogspot.com/2009/01/feliz-cumpleanos-abuela-mia.html

Well, in the early evening of that long day, I called Tita and I talked to Abuelo, and asked if anything had happened yet.

Nope, nothing, Tita said, then continued, She's not here, she's gone, she doesn't want to be here.

I'm so sorry, I told her, not entirely convinced Abuela would let the sun set without a single sign.

Our conversation limped on for a minute or two, punctuated by sniffing and swallowing and silence, until finally I had to get off the phone because Zack was howling for my help to push up the contents of a frozen tube of bright blue Spongebob Squarepants Gogurt.

While I was in the kitchen, I made a pot of cup of Cuban coffee, and just as I reached up into the cabinet to get a small espresso cup, a big mug flew down towards my head.

Somehow I snatched it before it crashed onto the floor.

It was the mug I'd given Abuela on Christmas 2006, the one I just stole back (reclaimed?) from her house when I visited Abuelo in December.

Ay, Abuela! I muttered, my heart still racing.

Ay Abuela! I repeated over and over, tearfully laughing, holding the mug which had three words written across it, "Faith, Hope, Love."

I Spent Saturday Night with,,,,

http://www.myspace.com/uffie

Of course, she wasn't the only there,
but we did have our moments....
and yes, Uffie (enUFFie),
Zoe can come help you in Paris,
if you mean the Paris in Epcot*

Feliz Cumpleanos, Abuela Mia*

Querida Abuela Mia,

History doesn't repeat itself; the same thing never happens twice, but here I am, for the second time, telling you happy birthday after I already know how the circle of your life so perfectly closed itself when you jumped into the sky.

Honestly, I don't even think I need to write anything to you because I feel the twinkle of your laugher right next to my ear one hundred times a day.

Since I have nothing to give you -- besides my laughter, companionship, and some stories you'd rather I'd write in Spanish anyway jajaja -- I have a request for you.

Yes, a request, it's a new tradition.

This past December I gave Zack a scooter on MY birthday, so I've decided to proclaim it tradition to GIVE on our birthdays, and so yes, I'm asking you for something.

Your daughter and husband still sit together under the coconut tree in the backyard, feeling the silence of your absence, and wishing (sometimes in silence, sometimes with their actions) for time to move quickly backwards or forwards.

Can you please shake a coconut down on them today, maybe scare them a little?

I know they'll know it was from you (maldita), not from me (sinverguenza).

Te quiero*

Seed

A seed
cares not
if it is to become
a vine
or a tree.


And in that stillness
it prepares
to bear
fruit.

Connected

I admit it, I listen to talk radio, yes, sometimes, I do. And it was last week that I heard a mother call in and tell the host she was outraged that they were showing today's inauguration in classes.

The two of them hrrrrumpfh and grumped together about the national obsession and fixation with today's inauguration above all else.

So here's my secret.

I felt really guilty after hearing that call, because I decided not to lecture on Inauguration Day.

I have been teaching college since 1994, too late to share Clinton's inauguration with my students. In January 2001, I was home with a three-week old daughter, again in no position to share the day with students.

Today,

I asked myself, "Am I partial here? Would I have done this for McCain?"

Verse #14: Naked Face

The single source of unity
appears as a detailed image
which cannot be understood
by studying its naked visage.

Follow it through nothingness
approach from where you have no face
from nowhere to infinity
the vacant image leaves no trace.

From never to eternity
naked faced we are
bare and hollow open doors
forevermore ajar.

**************
(adapted from "Headless Tao")