Saturday, January 21, 2006

January 21: Today's *Six* Secrets

1) It's my brother's birthday.

He wins. Again.

Every year I catch up to him for 32 days, then he wins. Again.

I know how it ends every year, and yet it's still exciting.

Meanwhile, he's making me an aunt, which is the coolest thing in the world because it involves absolutely no weight gain (although I *do* miss the weight-loss benefits of breastfeeding), ugly maternity clothes or staying up all night with crying babies.

I stay up all night a few times a week with a crying toddler, but, well, this is supposed to be about Winn, so nevermind.

2) My parents left for Europe today. Spain.

After never travelling (I exaggerate. EPCOT is "travelling" right?) for the last 55+ years (except the whole "leaving Cuba because of the revolution" thing --) Mom & Dad have become travellers.
This is their third trip to Spain. I'm going to miss them.

But, hello? Its JANUARY, so they're freezing their culitos off. I'm not TOO jealous.

3) I hate weekends.

Well, I take that back. I hate weekends at home with my family.

And I make no secret of that.

I need to show some leadership and make plans to get us out of the house because... because...

Oh don't start me. I was just writing enough to get out of this funky mood.

4) Speaking of funky moods, the book is coming along great.

It's getting harder to get to the coffeeshop (my writing place) every morning, but even three mornings a week works out to 40-50 pages. It's moving quickly. Satisfyingly.

5) I am always surprised that PMS surprises me. After 20 years, it's still "oh! hey! why am I scowling?" Because I'm not a scowly-person. I detest negative people. I detest people who detest people. I detest people who write about detesting people who detest people. Oh my f**ing sh*t stop me before I start throwing punches.
Just kidding!

6) Well, tomorrow is another day. One I'm starting at the coffeeshop. I'll accomplish enough by 10am that I will feel achieved and complete and can focus my energy on the kids.

Seriously, if I didn't feel this agitated pasison to finish the book, I'm sure I'd just put it away, or only write columns.
This angst, this "oh I could be WRITING, I don't WANT to (fill-in-the-maternal-activity) right now!!" attitude is a GIFT.

If I didnt' have it -- if I were perfectly happy -- I would get NOTHING done, then be miserable.

Think about THAT for awhile.